from klang, to singapore, to...?

Diane-35...after all these years

2006-07-24T04:03:00.000+08:00

**Note of caution: The squemish and those uninterested in PCOS, stop here.

Those who are close to me are probably well aware of me taking an oral contraceptive called Diane-25 for a while now to treat my polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). It has been slightly over 3 years but apparently this demon from my secondary school days is far from being vanquished.

To anyone on long term medication, prescribed or otherwise, I strongly suggest you do RESEARCH on that drug you are using. Not just when you start using the drug, but well throughout the course of the years that you take it.

The first time I was prescribed Diane, I was 17. It's been so long but I can still remember the circumstances leading up to it. As far as I can remember, my menstruation patterns have always been irregular. Although it bothered me sometimes that I only got my period once in 3-9 months with each bout lasting as long as 2 weeks to a month, I brushed it off because of all these articles that I read that said irregularity was a common phenomenon esp amongst teenagers. I never confided in anyone about it (not even my mum) because I found it embarassing. However with each period, the flow got worse and worse...to the point where I couldn't do anything on the first day of menstruation other than run to the toilet every 15 mins to keep washing up and changing my pad. Some days, I just sat in the toilet for convenience sake. Finally one day at school, things got out of hand and my mum found out and took me to a gynae. The doctor said it was a common abnormality and there was nothing to worry about and put me on Diane for 3 months to regulate the problem along with some iron supplements. First side effect: 8kg weight gain in 2 months. Since I was underweight to begin with, it was a blessing for me.

After that first time, my doctor stopped the prescription hoping that my cycle would be 'jump-started' back to order. It would work for a month or two, but inevitably the irregularity would return. Since I moved away from home, I started seeing another doctor in Singapore because I was fed-up with the returning symptoms. This time, he successfully diagnosed me with PCOS. He didn't need to tell me...I could already see the cystic clusters with my own eyes during the ultrasound and his diagnosis only served to verify what I already suspected. Since I responded quite well to Diane the last time(my weight gain stopped after that initial spurt), he started to prescribe me the same drug long-term. We tried the same 'jump-start' thing for about 6 months but it was clear that I needed the drug to continue having regular menstruation so he prescribed it for a year. The next time I saw him, he was satisfied with how I adapted to the drug (no ultrasound, just general Q&A and checkup) so he prescribed the same drug for another year.

I had a lot of concerns about taking this drug. True - I am able to menstruate regularly with it, my complexion is almost flawless and my boobs have probably up-ed a cup but I want to be able to have a family in the future and my fertility is something that I didn't want compromised. So I did some reading up...I went online, read the information included with the drug and back then, whatever articles I found ok-ed the drug along with a long list of positive effects. When I queried how long I should be taking this (knowing that some oral contraceptives should be stopped after a few years or switched to another), my doctor replied that it would be safe for me to until I desired to have children.

Recently, I've been doing research again. Mainly because the pharmacist that I have been going to cautioned that I shouldn't be taking it for so long. Imagine my shock and horror reading letter upon letter of caution from certified govt bodies published since last year about things like venous thromboemlism and the possibility of people dying from blood clots in the brain from its use. Mortal fears aside, what really struck me most were the extensive forums written by people describing things that I have brushed aside for a long time as being flaws in my personality and my self that I wasn't strong enough to handle - depression/severe mood swings/crying for no reason/suicidal thoughts. Reading these women's testimonials about how their lives were affected by using Diane, it could have very well been mine...drastic mood swings, losing tempers, shouting rows, throwing tantrums over the littlest things, sudden breaking down and crying, being depressed but not knowing why...and inevitably, the self hate for being so mean and hateful to the people that I cared about a lot but not being able to control it.

A lot of the depression which I could not understand, I blamed it on my relationship then...yes, I was frustrated but no, I should not have behaved so badly. Even until today, I carry a lot of guilt for how I treated Sid, how I have behaved with friends and how low I sunk to hurt myself physically to somehow make me feel better. It has been more than a year since...I'm a happier person now...I've made a lot of effort to sleep regularly (because fatigue makes me more cranky) and eating properly (which my gynae recommended) and a lot more exercise. But just when I thought I have moved on, I'm starting to see the same patterns again in my relationship with Csaba...inexplicable mood swings, shorter tempers, tantrums, crying for no reason...I'm trying so hard to keep it in rein but with every bout, it gets worse and worse...just like with Sid.

I'm so afraid of sabotaging my relationship with Csaba...our relationship has been so strong and I have never been happier but yet, I still get depressed sometimes and I don't know why when I have no reason to be. The last thing I want to do is to ruin it because of my incontrollable temper. Worse, relive those dark days again and drive everyone around me away and feeling so low about myself.

For those who think this is an uncomfortably written blog where I have revealed more information than I should have, its not for you...its for my sister, my girlfriends and anybody else out there coping with some form of menstruation problem or is on long term drug use. Do your research, check with your doctor and don't take whatever he/she tells you for granted.

That said, it's time to make another trip to the gynae.

now a graduate

2006-06-13T20:47:00.000+08:00

Yet again, how long as it been? How time has passed. The final exams and FYP presentations have all come and gone and now I'm playing the waiting game at IRO while hunting for a proper job. Fresh engineering grad anyone?

With every talk and open day, the memories I had on exchange begin to resemble a vague recollection of dreams. The same goes for a lot of shit that I did in university. If only it were possible to encapsulate experiences into a can and all you had to do was pop the lid to relive your memories all over again.

When they said entering the job market as a fresh graduate is a major crossroad of your life, they weren't joking. Its like having one foot in the past and the other in the future. Guess while I still have some grip on the past, I should try to immortalise it somehow so brace for some frequent postings especially that of pictures.

Here's one of great times and good friends to start with :)

being happy...

2005-11-06T01:27:00.000+08:00

Just found out a couple of weeks back that a friend had committed suicide early this year. The fact that someone as talented and as full of promise as him chose to take his own life shocked me to say the least...to find out only about half a year later just made it worse. Even though I was never particularly close to him, he touched my life enough to leave a mark, inspired me enough as a dancer to hang in there for just that long with the ensemble and has influenced my decision to return to the fold with a new maturity. I will never know the reason why he did what he did...all I know is that I'll miss his playfulness and jovial nature and his passion for the things that he loved. The thought of not being able to share moments with him again or to watch him dance and revel in the joy of being himself really upsets me...even more upsetting is the knowledge that he was so young with so much of life left to live but he chose to end it then.
Being happy is a choice...not necessarily an easy one but one that all of us can make if we want it enough. Thinking about him, I wonder why did he feel that he had no other options...

This incident made me think a lot about the people in my life...how more often than not we tend to take things for granted that yeah, they're always gonna be around or there will always be time to catch up. What do you do when someday you find out they're no longer there? Would you wish that you did something different?

A close friend recently confided that she has begun taking anti-depressive drugs under prescription. I know that she has been struggling with personal demons for a long time now and that life has been hard on her...been trying hard to stay supportive, even from such a distance and I hope that this decision is truly in her best interest. I've always idolized the strength and the honesty with which she lived her life...I can only hope that these will see her through and that she will find the peace and happiness that she deserves.

After all this time, I'm very grateful now that I no longer have those thoughts I used to have and that life has been extremely kind to me. I thank Hui Ling deeply for helping me acknowledge that there was something amiss with the way I was two years ago and for encouraging me to address it. That along with the love of family and friends has changed many things.
Looking back now, I really can't explain how was it that I could have let myself sink so low but I know for sure that I will never let myself go back to that mental prison ever again. Having been able to break out of that, I wonder whether it could have been different for my friend who took his life...

To my partner in crime, lots of love and hugs...see you soon over iced milo and good ol' Msian food

5 months down the road...

2005-10-29T14:05:00.000+08:00

Ok ok firstly, sorry for not being more up-to-date...I sorely regret that now cos there's just SO SO SO much stuff to put up! It's gonna take a gargantuan effort to document everything now...better do it before this already large mountain turns into a monster of unmanageable proportions!

Past travels in europe aside, to date I've also made a 10-day trip to Malaysia with Maxime (yes, he came to visit!). The Penang-Perhentian-KL-Cameron-Klang trip was incredibly memorable because it was the longest road trip I've ever made with him and also because it was my first time traipsing my own country proper (never had any reason or company to before this you see). My only regret is not taking more photos thinking that there would be a 'next time'...will never do that again.

Ok apart from the fun holidays, these past few months back in Singapore have been eventful to say the least. In terms of uni work, I took on more than I could chew and I'm now in hot soup over my long latent final year project...I've started working part-time to save up for another trip and other pleasures...and in terms of matters of the heart, its been some painful choices made and conscious decisions to stay happy. But life has been a hell of a party and I'm savouring all I can of my final year in school avec mes camarades :)

Now lets place bets about when will be the next time I put a post on my blog ;P

Je te promets...

2005-07-03T15:26:00.000+08:00

Je te promets le sel au baiser de ma bouche
Je te promets le miel à ma main qui te touche
Je te promets le ciel au dessus de ta couche
Des fleurs et des dentelles pour que tes nuits soient douces

Je te promets la clé des secrets de mon âme
Je te promets ma vie de mes rires à mes larmes
Je te promets le feu à la place des armes
Plus jamais des adieux rien que des au-revoirs

J'y crois comme à la terre, j'y crois comme au soleil
J'y crois comme un enfant, comme on peut croire au ciel
J'y crois comme à ta peau, à tes bras qui me serrent
J'te promets une histoire différente des autres
J'ai tant besoin d'y croire encore

Je te promets des jours tout bleus comme tes veines
Je te promets des nuits rouges comme tes rêves
Des heures incandescentes et des minutes blanches
Des secondes insouciantes au rythme de tes hanches

Je te promets mes bras pour porter tes angoisses
Je te promets mes mains pour que tu les embrasses
Je te promets mes yeux si tu ne peux plus voir
J'te promets d'être heureux si tu n'as plus d'espoir

J'y crois comme à la terre, j'y crois comme au soleil
J'y crois comme un enfant, comme on peut croire au ciel
J'y crois comme à ta peau, à tes bras qui me serrent
J'te promets une histoire différente des autres
Si tu m'aides à y croire encore

Et même si c'est pas vrai, si on te l'a trop fait
Si les mots sont usés, comme écris à la craie
On fait bien des grands feu en frottant des cailloux
Peut-être avec le temps à la force d'y croire
On peut juste essayer pour voir

Et même si c'est pas vrai, même si je mens
Si les mots sont usés, légers comme du vent
Et même si notre histoire se termine au matin
J'te promets un moment de fièvre et de douceur
pas toute le nuit mais quelques heures ...

Je te promets le sel au baiser de ma bouche
Je te promets le miel à me main qui te touche
Je te promets le ciel au dessus de ta couche
Des fleurs et des dentelles pour que tes nuits soient douces...

player?

2005-06-15T21:55:00.000+08:00

Am back online again after a long absence and since I have nothing better to do right now between travel, I decided to do Fuzz's personality test thing and that's what my result is, XPYT - player. Incredible.

Its now finally summer in Grenoble with bright sunshine practically everyday...a far cry from what it was when I first arrived only months ago. How time flies. Gadis and Mun have already left Grenoble. It was hard saying goodbye knowing that each of their departure signaled the end of our sejour here and the approach of my own. Am gonna so miss Gadis and the kind of talks we used to have...her shopping certainly drives me up the wall at times but she's definitely a dear friend. And although I'll still be able to see Mun in Singapore, things are not going to be same...no more China lesbians.

Its funny how things turned out for me and Mun cos although we already knew each other in JC, we never really spoke. I always hung out more with the people from S35 rather than my own S32 cos of Shihui...and that's how I got to know basically everyone that's had a significant part to play at some point or other in my life...Shihui, Tze Ming, Sid and now Mun. From almost complete strangers, Mun and Gadis are now the 2 people in the world who know practically everything about me and were the people whom I shared almost everything with. Am really gonna miss them...already am...

The ironic part about this blog is about how I've written nothing but bullshit when I intended it to chronicle all the traveling I've done and my stay here in france. The Spain trip during the spring break remains unblogged and now I've the 2-week Italy and 4-day Cote d'Azur trip to boot. Gonna have to slot that in sometime soon before I forget what I've seen and done. Doubt I'm gonna have anymore time to write all I want to write till I get back to Malaysia unless I successfully extend my flight...

Now with Maxime away for the week, I'm gonna leave for Munich this weekend and drop in on Mayang. Gonna try to stretch my money as far as it can so I can still do the stuff I want to do after. *crossing my fingers and hoping for the best*

the end is nigh...

2005-05-20T22:11:00.000+08:00

Sitting here with the last système d'exploitation TP spread out before me, its hard to believe that I'm hours away from kissing goodbye my term with ENSIMAG. The last paper I had this morning was an absolute killer...so bad I feel like hecking care this putain TP de merde cos it's probably not going to make any difference...but it was the last! And then its no more TPs, no more feeling lost in class, no more struggling with my bloody ensibm account with its limited functionalities...in short, no work-all play.

Its now just gonna be a whirlwind of packing and traveling and trying to make whatever that's left of my time here last as long as possible. Just finding it so hard to believe that 4 months have sped by just like that...wishing so much that it could have been longer, or that at least I could somehow come back here again. If I could have another take on things, I'd love to do snowboarding big time...spend more time exploring the mountain ranges here and do more outdoor activities...see what France is like in autumn...and most of all, spent more time with all the people I've met here.

Am gonna so miss Gadis and Mayra and all the girlie times Mun and I had together with them. Also wish I had the opportunity to know Nancy better cos she's so funny. And its just too bad that people in Condillac come and go so fast cos its hard to get to know people when they only stay for a short while (the only ones that stay are always the connards)...people like Jamie, Julien, Sophie and the russians. And the others...c'est dur...

Qui aime bien chatie bien...

fumbling around pensively...

2005-04-14T16:20:00.000+08:00

Ok, finally figured out how to put up pictures and links here...talk about slow...as it is I barely blog...really don't have the time for this kind of shit...foresee that I'm gonna die trying to blog the trips around europe. Will just have to do something when I get back and I have time to waste.

Sitting in the Ensimag lab trying to do my lab now...trying to finish at least one operating systems program before leaving Grenoble tomorrow night. And hoping that I can make enough progress right now to go snowboarding this afternoon...while the sun is shining and the snow is still there. *sigh* really not motivated to work right now...gotta train myself to work Singapore-style again.

Had a nice chat with Shihui this week...its always interesting to see how you've changed personally through another person's eyes. She who knew me best in JC is, I think, the only one who has any position to say what kind of transitions I've made since then and now, although I don't meet up with her often enough nowadays (typical me). The conversation was like a blast through the past to say the least...it made me think about the days of track and field, S3, the ASEAN gang, St Pats, ECP and the general hanging about college...the friends I made then, the friends that parted and the friends that drifted away. Feel bloody old now...it all seemes so far away and distant...everybody now leading different lives and having different outlooks. But for the first time in a long time, I'm feeling like the old me again...the person I was before NUS, calmer and more at peace...not "The Commander" (as Hesh and the Werellama so lovingly put it). Its gonna be another trip down memory lane when I meet Eu Vian in Paris the weekend after Barcelona/Madrid...of Klang, of Convent and all our friends now dispersed throughout the world.

Its been exactly 3 months since I arrived here...can already feel a lot of change in myself and think a lot about how different things are going to be when I get back, and how I don't want to leave France. Although I've stayback in RH, its not going to be the same cos Fuzz and Nic aren't going to be there anymore, neither will our good exchange buddies...and then there's all the other new social dynamics to contend with because so many of us have been away for at least 6 months. The only thing that's certain would probably be tea and bridge, haha.

Till after Barcelona...

and the blue moon shines...

2005-04-12T22:38:00.000+08:00

quick update of everything that's happened since my last post 3 weeks back:

1. switched to snowboarding (it rocks!!!)
2. been to Maxime's new place
3. worked on image processing project
4. out with Mun and Gadis for one sunday afternoon sun-basking, movies and a moroccan resto meal
5. watched les mots bleues with Sarah (friend from french class) and Maxime
6. went for Jerôme's self-written, self-directed, self-starred theatre production.
7. dinner at Madame Christine's (super as always)
8. ...a lot of heartache and sadness...

...am seriously not the blogger type man...

Snowboarding really rocks...finding it a lot easier to pick up than skiing (am able to do blues ok on third attempt snowboarding). The movement's hell cool too...only drawback is it super sucks when you hit almost level slopes cos you'll end up walking or pushing yourself along like you would on a skateboard if you lose momentum, you fall a hell lot more when you lose your balance...AND you can't go as fast as you could on skis. Wishing now that I had begun with boarding from the beginning...its definitely an easier sport to pick up in a limited time-span like what I have now...skiing is trickier...more technique required...but then again, only I had more time to spend here so I can learn how to do both like a champion :p

Was at 2 alpes again last Saturday with Mun and Maxime...Mun stuck to her speciality whereas I was on the board again. The snow was beautifully 'poudreux', fresh and soft, but it was frikkin cold and windy...temperature was hovering about -16° and winds were where we were 30kmph in the early morning (an idea of how cold it was, me and Mun came back down with the scarves we used to protect our faces completely frozen over and Maxime had ice in his ears). It would have been a super day if it wasn't for the reduced visibility and the horrid cold. Had a tough time getting back to the bus cos we took a téléski up to a station to find the télécabine we intended to take back down closed due to the weather...the winds by then had picked up horribly, to the extent that Mun couldn't ski down part of the slope cos the wind blew her so hard in the other direction, she stopped mid-slope. Managed to catch the bus in the end though after racing down the blue in record time and running every step of the way after...also cos we weren't the only one held up by the horrid weather...nasib

Had planned to hit the slopes again one last time this week before going to Barcelona...was pretty eager but now am not so sure cos work is really piling up and Maxime found out his internship starts this week and he can't come with us anymore. Work-wise, I'm drowning in my own procrastination with respect to the operating systems labs and had a hellish period last week doing practically the whole image processing project on my own singapore-style (read: coding like a maniac, endless lab hours, little sleep), getting stood-up by my binome while at the same time, trying to get that sluggish pig to contribute some. Bloody frustrating. Leave alone the fact that the project is already so tough, the guy literally pooh-poohed it for the entire month we were given to work on it and treats me like I don't know anything and refuses to communicate. Finally gave up on him and on the project Sunday, 3 days overdue and one function short, when he left me waiting in the cold to meet up with him to work at his place for nothing cos he was still bloody asleep at 2 o'clock in the afternoon. He finally turned in the project today after our supervisor emailed demanding for it. Feel like mailing my supervisor on my own to ask to be allowed to hand in the project on my own...*sigh*. Moral of the story: Pigs like him exist everywhere in this world...thanks for the bonne note, Antoine.

Made a lot of new friends these past few weeks...mostly in my ENSIMAG class which is a nice change cos I've never really had the opportunity to get to know my classmates before. Already been out for a movie with Sarah, a cool german girl who's in my french class...am always sitting with her and this super-cute portugese guy in class. They're really nice people and I love the class and the lecturer...she's been the best french tutor I've had since Anna Potey...a very stimulating and entertaining person. Then there's Mathilde and Vincent with whom I'm working with for networks labs...thankfully they're nowhere near like Antoine in terms of work ethics and social skills. And then there's Amadou and Emilie who've been kind enough to lend me their notes. Really have to go for a coffee with Amadou one of these days...already stood him up once, gonna have to make a point to do so after spring break. And got to figure out what to do with Mr E.

Gotta get back to work soon...really have to finish one OS lab before leaving for Barcelona on Friday. Already spent the sunday at Gadis's and Maxime's place and yesterday night dining at Madame Christine's. It was sumptuous as always: artichoke and asparagus entré, zuchini dauphine and fish cooked in lemon and thyme for the main, and 2 home-made desserts and arabic sweets that Mun brought...and homemade jam with the leftover orange cake for breakfast! Am gonna so miss all this when I leave. Gotta take down all the cake recipes to try at home man...esp the orange and the apple coconut cake.

Till the next blue moon...

Pain now dulled but yearning remains, wondering how things are with you but know I should refrain; hoping that all is well and that maybe you've healed, wanting so much to meet that friend I once knew but what will that yield?...

if I had 9 lives, now I have 8

2005-03-20T20:49:00.000+08:00

Yet another long week and an even longer weekend...or more like, the longest Saturday of my life. Had gone skiing again at 2 alpes with Mun and Max...decided not to stick with the ski school this time and went ahead on my own with Max to the higher slopes...Mun prudently decided to stay with the classes. It was stressful to say the least cos Max is a piste rouge/noir (red/black slope) snowboarder with lots of experience, and I was only a beginner skiing for the third time and am able to manage easy blues at most. It was wonderfully sunny though and the slopes higher up were much nicer...the snow was better and the scenery was stunning. Did the green a couple of times then struggled with a blue...then about 12, Mun called to meet up for lunch and me and Max started making our way down to the agreed meeting spot.

It was a catastrophy to say the least...we wanted to ski all the way down instead of taking the télésiége...but we found out too late that the green slopes were closed...and the only way left was to either trek up more than 400m by foot in the snow and take the télésiége back down again or to take the only available slope down which was a fucking noir. Long story cut short, Max's attempts at helping me down the slope ended up with him falling the whole way down with his board (a good 600m at least) and knocking his head...and I stopping halfway down safe and sound but before I could even catch my breath, I was hit by another guy who happened to be falling down the slope as well.

It was horrible...the guy was basically falling down the slope even faster than I was cos he was of heavy build and he hit me in the ribs...the impact of the collision threw me off the slope and I could literally feel myself air-borne for a few seconds before hitting the slope again...after that it was a mess, I was falling down in every possible manner, head first, feet first then when I finally 'stablized', I found myself hurtling down sideways at top speed with the bastard dragging me by my jacket. I started screaming at him repetitively, "laisse-moi", the moment I got my breath back but the idiot refused to let me go and we just continued gaining speed falling together like that. He finally released his grip after I hit his hand repeatedly force him to let go...only God know how far I had fallen till then and when I finally came to a stop, I missed the supporting pillars for the cable cars by a few metres and I couldn't feel my leg. Laid still for a long time and could hear other skiers coming up to me to help and heard Max calling out asking if I was ok...don't quite remember what happened after that till when I found myself uprighted and Max sitting next to me.

All in all, I was fucking lucky and I probably used up one of my 9 lives on Saturday...went into shock after that and was shivering from the cold (cos snow had gotten in everywhere) but I didn't break anything, didn't hit my head and the only wounds I have is a cut on my chin from hitting my skis that thankfully isn't serious enough to need stitches, a sprained thumb, some friction burns and a lot of aching. Have no idea what happened to the other guy though but he fell so badly, both his skis and one ski boot came off in his fall and that was probably luck on my side, else I would have most certainly broken something when he hit me or worse.

It took forever to come down the slopes after that cos I was freaking terrorized everytime I heard someone ski by and the steepness of the slopes freaked me out. It was a good thing the first-aid guy found us and helped patch up my chin and got me down the rest of the black by skiing with me on his back. Max was ok too and very patiently helped me down to the town area. It was about 12 when me and Max started off and we reached where we wanted to go at about 2.30 in the afternoon...

Am still aching as I'm writing this and my thumb is still swollen but I'm feeling bloody thankful that I'm fine. This whole incident isn't going to stop me from skiing anymore but I'm definitely putting off any risk taking for a long time to come. Thank you, God.

in this last month...

2005-03-11T17:42:00.000+08:00

Realize now that I'm most certainly not the type to update blogs...esp when I have no net access in my room like how most of us back in Spore are accustomed to being.

Hell a lot of things have passed since last month...went for a salsa soiree at the Loco Mosquito and slipped up (never go to a salsa night with brazillians...very dangerous); karaoke session at Valery's place for his friend's bday; managed to pass one whole week without going out for a single night AAANNNDD...went skiing!!!

Skiing was incredible...wish so much that I was born in this region now so I can ski and snowboard for the rest of my life...if only everyone could have an opportunity to try it at least once in their lives...Il est vachement cool!
Went to 2 alpes for my first time with Mun and Gadis...took a debutant course with the école de glisse...it was really great cos we had an instructor teaching us how to ski properly. And with Madame Christine's generosity in loaning me her spare skis, I'm having a hell of a time at half the cost. Fell down a lot esp at the steeper slopes but it was great all the same...had a hell of a good time. Thinking of buying my own pair of gloves cos the ones I've loaned from Madame Christine soaks water and ices over after a while but its freaking ex here...if only I could stay here forever. Am gonna try snowboarding for sure one of these days before the ski season ends...thank goodness I've till April to enjoy...wishing now that I had begun earlier!
Gonna be going skiing at 2 alpes again this weekend with Mun and Gadis again...Maxime wanted to come along too but it would be no point cos we're planning on taking the ski classes again...so he's decided to go to 7 laux with Andre. Perhaps next time.

Gonna be going to Geneva too this Sunday...to see a luxury car exhibition and the famous lakes. Its unfortunate Sergei and Andre can't join us although I home Jamie will in the end...for now its gonna be the the SEA girls n Max going.

Just found out that Max, Albert and Dany had a bet on whether Brao n Sophie would sleep together by winter break...finding it very amusing...Dany and Albert lost the bet though cos Sophie went home for the vacations in Feb.

Its already approaching mid-March now...time's slipping by so quickly...neither me nor Mun want to go back...things are just so great here and there's still so much to see and do like snowboard, visit Spain, Italy, Amsterdam, Prague, Germany and the rest of France. Mun wants to go fishing in the fjords of Norway for Spring break with the guys...some friend of Reiyuan's freaking owns a boat and the guys are planning on getting away for some booze, weed and fishing (?)...if its not the fjords, its gonna be Barcelona for me. Have yet to decide.

Time to get back to the dredgery of school here now...only one class left then its the weekend!!!

à bientôt!

happy vday...

2005-02-14T22:24:00.000+08:00

This is definitely a vday to remember...its unusual how one day you realise that things weren't as rosy as you believed them to be...that maybe you wanted things differently all the while but never had the courage to own up to that fact.

May this answer all the questions that we've been asking each other and ourselves for so long.

Yours always...

Now 23 years and a day old...

2005-02-10T19:56:00.000+08:00

This must have been one of the most memorable birthdays I've had thus far...all thanks to people that I met by sheer coincidence only 2 weeks ago. Growing old never felt better...celebrated my birthday along with 2 other exchange students, Braolio the brazilian and a Russian girl who had their birthdays on the 8th...night before, it was a simple session of drinks and candle blowing and great company. Yesterday, me and Mun made fried rice for all of them...it was a very merry party and even though we made something as simple as fried rice, everyone was bowled over by it and so were we cos we haven't had food from home for so long :p

Ironically, me and Mun have only been able to meet french people so far (the other NUS ppl in france are socialising mostly with exchange people from other countries)...goodness knows why but keeping up with their social lives have been incredible hectic, fun and exhausting at the same time. Since arriving here, its been something for every day of the week esp after we went for the tandem. Its been time spent at Mun's place with her flatmates - Jerôme and Benoit; meeting up with Valery for drinks or hanging with the guys over at Batiment B of Condillac (Brao, Julian, Maxim, Sophie and the Russians).

The people here have been great...after the initial waryness, they've proven to be very warm, friendly and gracious people. Jerôme and Benoit are priceless comics...always cracking jokes and shooting off witty comments at top speed (am barely able to understand what they're trying to say most of the time cos they talk so fast). They and their friends are a riotous lot...esp during the crepe party they had last week and the night before we left for 'Marseille' when Jerôme brought his friend, another Julian...(and believe me when I say that all the Julian's we've met here are really cute and have to-die-for eyes *yum*).

Valery is one of the guys me and Mun met at the Tandem...in hindsight, its pretty unusual why he was there at a student function when he's not at all a student anymore. He's very smooth and has his own appartment in town and a car and he comes off as a super all-rounder that's too good to be true. Apart from rock-climbing, skiing and snowboarding, he plays the piano, likes classical music and doesn't watch TV and has already studied bio, informatics and now microe. Goodness knows how old this guy is after having done all that...

The people that we've met from Batiment B are really nice people. Brao is very typically Brazilian - spontaneous and fun, the kind of person who will just grab you by the hand and start dancing with you for no good reason...Sophie is very sharp and witty with lots to say...Julian is a great guy, very very nice and very eager to learn more about Asian culture...and Maxim actually managed to get me to play the piano again even after all these years of dormancy.

Its only been 2 and a half weeks in Grenoble and already I'm wondering how the hell am I going to adapt to life in Spore again. Have decided not to go anywhere for the winter break next week so I can take a breather and do some work for once and maybe try skiing...think if I went away, I can forget about passing anything here...doing OS and other SOC subjects is super tough in french and the fact that these people have had so much better grounding than us doesn't help much. On to fourier transform and more good times!

from marseille to massy

2005-02-06T05:02:00.000+08:00

And that's where I am right now.

...after grand plans were made for the weekend and me and Mun slapping each other on the back for making plans at least 2 days in advance for once, we've made one of the biggest slip-ups of them all. Instead of being down south in sunny Provence, me and Mun got off the TGV early this morning to weather that was colder and more dreary than the one we left behind...we found ourselves more than 600km off where we wanted to go...we were all the way up north instead! Grace à a very helpful french lady at the ticket counter who misheard me saying 'Marseille' as 'Massy'.

It took us a while to find our bearings, but luckily we found ourselves in the outskirts of Paris! With a short ride on the RER, we found ourselves within the main city area. Its been 12 hours since we arrived and we have wasted no time going around seeing the sights. Today, its been the Arc de Triomphe, le Grand Palais, Hôtel Royal des Invalides and the Eiffel Tour...tommorow, its going to be a hectic run at Sacre Coeur, the Louvre and Tuileries and the general area along the Seine.

Although we're feeling the pinch of the wasted hostel booking in Marseille, its been a huge relief that we've been able to find a place to stay here at late notice. And thankfully Mun has the same take on travelling as I do and its been great fun just going with the flow...

Planning things in advance most certainly ain't gonna work for me in France...goodness knows what will happen next!

msia/spore/bahrain/paris/lyon/grenoble

2005-02-01T21:01:00.000+08:00

What's that you ask? None other the torturous route I made alone with almost 50kg of luggage...the banes of traveling alone. Thankfully I made it all the way safe and sound in one piece (although I felt as though I was going to collapse and die, sooner or later). Am already mentally planning all the things that I'm going to dump before I come back so I can breeze through customs like one of those frequent flyers...lugging tons of crap is a pain.

Its only been half a month since I left but it feels like forever...all the transiting in Bahrain, then Paris and Lyon was really fun though. Bahrain was pretty interesting and I had excellent hosts. Nothing beats seeing a new country with people who are able to bring you around and show you the highlights...the one day tour was very very comprehensive and miraculously excuted (considering that my stopover was only for the day). Managed to see quite a few sights...visit the desert and the tree of life, ride a camel and smoke some hookah...truly an experience.

Paris was absolutely beautiful...can't wait to make another trip there again. The streets are quaint and the architecture is stunning...but watch out for dog poo...it's EVERYWHERE. Like I mentioned to someone the other day - in Paris, you keep your eyes glued to the ground watching out for poo, in Lyon its for spit, and in Grenoble its for all the icy patches that make you slip and fall (not at all nice, I can assure you...I had my first experience with that Day 2 in Grenoble). But Paris is definitely a great place for shopping, hanging out in trendy cafes and seeing the sites :) I only managed to stay for a few days before moving on to Lyon, but even during that short stay, it was very memorable...saw the Arc de Triomph, the Seine, the Louvre, and made a new friend off the streets.

Spent a week in Lyon bunking with Sid n Chang Chian. It was a pretty tight squeeze (beds in France are miraculously small...less than 2 feet wide...its just nice for malnourished Asian kids, have no idea how the french fit into them). Had a really good time going about...the other exchange students in Lyon are really great and very friendly (those that I met were mostly mexican and brazilian)...very very fun people (if only there were people like that in grenoble).

Lyon is one of the 5 largest cities of France...and its obvious why, sprawling across 2 rivers - le Rhône and la Saône. Its famed for having the best cuisine in france. The most famous and popular Lyonnais dish is chicken and duck liver cooked in a pig's bladder...its really hard-core and I think only the french are able to stomach such a monstrosity...the blood sausages that they sell here are already tough to look at, leave alone eat.

Spent most of my time in Lyon going out with Sid and seeing the attractions...Munirah came down the weekend before I left to help me get to Grenoble (she's now my other half here in Grenoble). We managed to take a ride in the largest ferris wheel in europe before we left...it was super cold cos 1. it was in the middle of winter and 2. the higher you go, the harder the wind blows.

Now, I'm in Grenoble...have been here for a week and a half and I've yet to pass a single night in peace...its been too much to do, too little time everyday. And yet, me and Mun are going to Marseille for the weekend and meeting up with Sid and the Lyon exchange people there. There will only be 2 possible results from all this constant going out and meeting people - either I end up exhausting myself and come back to SEA half dead, or I come back missing all the fun that I'm having now and will never be able to live in Singapore ever again. Don't even want to begin thinking which it is...I'm having too much fun :P

The world should live Carpe Diem...always :)

2005-02-01T19:39:00.000+08:00

my favourite picture of Lyon, the river rhone

2005-02-01T19:36:00.000+08:00

just me

2005-02-01T19:27:00.000+08:00

picture taken from the Bahraini boarder of the causeway